Hamster online dating
Unfortunately, for a generation practically weaned on telecommunication devices, person-to-person communication is not exactly our strong suit – as evidenced by a stand-up argument I recently had with a man I was seeing. well, far longer than I care to admit; yet most of our communication was via text message or drunken conversations at the end of the night.
‘I think he was a little tired.’ Such disappointment shouldn’t come as a surprise, says Emma Weighill-Baskerville, a psychotherapist and relationship specialist.One friend furiously edits her Facebook page when a man she likes accepts her friend request.‘I don’t bother to use Facebook the rest of the time, but when someone interesting pops up I’m all over it, uploading flattering pictures, subjecting my friends to a barrage of witty status updates.’ As Voyer explains, ‘People are increasingly constructing two identities – their online identity, and their offline identity.’ He points to Twitter in particular, saying that ‘new ways of interacting have widened the gap between our actual selves – who we actually are – and our “ought” selves – who we think other people want us to be.’ So, proper, honest, face-to-face communication is key. ’ ‘We’re friends – you’re my friend.’ At this point, I’d been sleeping with this man for…‘The person may not fulfil the fantasy created through literary communication alone – this is only one piece of an individual.With texts, you are allowing a large space for fantasy to take over.’ The common business of ‘researching’ potential dates on Facebook, Twitter and Google can lead to similar disappointment – especially for a generation like mine, who curate their Facebook pages to PR-worthy standards.